


I'm Sorry

by 11tol_tsukki11



Series: Laurent King's Hogwarts Adventures [16]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, Hogwarts Mystery, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery - Fandom
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19353946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11tol_tsukki11/pseuds/11tol_tsukki11
Summary: The Celestial Ball is finally here, and Lau now has to make a decision.





	I'm Sorry

With an annoyed look, Merula fixed her friend’s tie for what might be the tenth time. While at first her moves were slow and careful, now she was just doing it as fast as possible so she could get this over with. She looked up at Lau, eyebrows knitted together. While some might find her extremely intimidating, Lau just thought that she sort of looked like a baby Kneazle... but he’d die if he dared to tell her. Merula ended up patting his chest.

“How do you even manage to mess up your tie every five minutes !? I’ve seen eleven years old kids do a better job than you”

Lau groaned softly, and started to nervously fiddle with his tie.

“I’m... anxious, Merula. What if I look like shit ? This is the Celestial Ball, I need to... well, look decent ! Look at yourself, you look like a princess”

“Queen” Merula corrected.

Indeed, ‘Queen’ was a better fit for the young girl, who was sporting an elegant black dress with long, silky gloves that covered her arms. Her hair were actually combed, and she looked... very pretty. However, Lau found himself preferring her usual, messy, rebellious look... why was she even part of this Ball anyway ? She claimed that she had no interest in it... but maybe she just wanted to dance and have a good time. A question suddenly flashed in Lau’s mind: did Merula have a date !? He immediately opened his mouth to ask her, but Merula started speaking again, slapping his hand.

“Stop. Touching. Your. Tie ! You look even more anxious than Copper during Potions class, and that’s saying something. Just relax for once, you idiot !”

Relax ? Easier said than done ! He tried to calm down anyway, taking in a few deep breaths before turning himself to the mirror standing in the empty Common Room. Everyone was already gone, waiting for the Ball to start, so Lau and Merula took that situation to their advantage to check out each other’s outfits. Merula was gorgeous, but Lau wasn’t so sure of his outfit... a white blouse with a green suit vest over it, a reminder of Slytherin’s colours, as well as a black tie and a few rings around his fingers... handsome, people would call Lau while seeing him like this, with his hair actually tamed, but the boy was and will always remain sort of insecure over his appearance. He stared at his reflection one last time. Oh, fuck this, he thought to himself. He turned to Merula.

“Ok, yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go before I bail”

“You better not bail, your ‘date’ won’t be happy” Merula sighed, making quotations with her fingers.

Lau decided to let it slide. He was well aware that Merula didn’t get along very well with his date, so he might as well ignore this. He gestured his friend to follow him.

“C’mon, let me escort you to the Ball~” he joked with an overly flirty voice, offering her his arm.

“Shut up, King !” Merula exclaimed.

She hooked her arm around his anyway, because it felt fancy. The duo finally left the Slytherin Common Room and headed to the Great Hall, where the Ball was held.

 

* * *

 

Gorgeous. The Great Hall was gorgeous, with a shiny, starry blue floor and luminous globes hanging from the ceiling. No magic, claimed Flitwick while the Decorating Committee was still working on the Ball’s decorations. They obeyed that order, but wow ! It was hard to believe all of this was the result of hard work instead of a flick of a wand. Lau stood there, amazed, staring at the decor while other students were mostly focusing on the tables filled with snacks. That included Jae Kim, who stuffed a few cupcakes into his pockets.

Lau spotted Tulip Karasu and her beautiful blue dress. Tonks was here as well, with an amazing hairdo. Man, he would have liked to be a Metamorphmagus... getting ready for the Ball must have been much easier for her. She could just focus, and bam, she had now the perfect hair. Ben Copper and Rowan Khanna were chatting, and they actually seemed to enjoy the event. That gave Lau a smile, since that at first both of them were reluctant about going to the Celestial Ball. Nagging them about it seemed to have done the trick... he turned around and saw Barnaby Lee.

He looked amazing, and terribly handsome. The young boy who enjoys magical creatures seemed to have turned into a man, a man who could romance anyone he wanted... Lau’s heart fluttered for a brief moment. His outfit was almost a work of art, with a boutonniere pinned to his vest. Lau helped him choose it due to his knowledge with flowers: a nice, pretty rose. He almost made a step forward, towards him, but then he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

He spun around and saw Penny Haywood, who could right now be easily compared to the sun with her flowy golden hair and yellow skirt. She did her braids differently this time, and she looked breathtaking. Lau’s heart faltered again, and he smiled at her.

“Hey, Penny”

“Laulau ! Are you seeing this, right now ? How beautiful this room is ? To think we made all of this ! You, me, Tonks, Tulip, Barnaby... and without magic ! Have you heard Dumbledore congratulating me ? My heart was about to explode with joy ! I think it already did, in fact, I can barely feel it !” she giggled, pressing her hand against her chest.

Her laugh was clear, pure, almost musical, and Lau always had a soft spot for nice tunes.

“I’m glad that you’re happy, Penny. You deserve all of this... I mean, look at what you did !”

He moved his arms around in an attempt to show off the entire room, and Penny giggled.

“What we did, Lau !” she corrected. “We all worked so hard... ! And I feel as if you supported me the entire time, so...”

She blushed a little, holding her hands together.

“I’m glad to be your date for tonight...”

She bit her lip sightly, as if embarrassed, but Lau immediately gave her a comforting smile and placed his hand on her arm, feeling her smooth skin.

“I’m glad that you said yes, Penny. I just wished I had asked you in better circumstances than talking about how I missed home...”

He pretty much blurted out his offer to be her date for the Ball. Penny took it well, but Lau still felt sort of bad. The Hufflepuff smiled at him.

“You couldn’t have done better, Lau. I’m... I’m just really happy...”

Silence, in which they both stared at each other. Penny was an amazing girl. She excelled at potions, she was the nicest girl Lau knew, also the prettiest... but his mind kept going to-

“Do you want to dance ?” he suddenly asked with a smile.

He jokingly bowed and offered her his hand.

“I’d very much appreciate it, if Milady doesn’t mind~”

Penny’s musical laugh struck him again, and he felt her hand in his.

“I’d be glad to, Milord King~”

They both giggled, and Lau dragged Penny to the dancing area. A dance-y, upbeat song was playing, but a few minutes later it switched to slower music, and people started dancing with their dates... and Lau recognized the dance that Tulip taught him. Waltz. She showed him the basics... and then he practised with Barnaby. He could still remember how good he had felt in his arms, how right it had felt... he looked around, but he couldn’t spot the other Slytherin. He did however spotted Merula, who was eating a few snacks.

“Nervous ?”

Shit ! He forgot that he was supposed to dance. He turned to Penny, who looked worried, and he smiled.

“Sort of... Tulip taught me how to do this dance, but doing it in public is much more stressful” he giggled.

“Well, I’m nervous too” Penny admitted. “I thought so much about the Ball’s preparations, I barely had time to get ready for... everything else. I was hoping you’d be my date, but I couldn’t get the nerve to ask you... let alone practise my dancing”

“Let me show you, then” Lau said with a smile.

He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, so that their chests would press together. He then instructed Penny to put her hand on his shoulder, and hold his hand with the other. His heart was beating against his chest... and he could feel Penny’s too. The girl was about as red as Lau’s hair.

“Ok... follow my lead” he whispered.

And they started moving. Although it was Penny’s first time, she was much less clumsy than Lau during his, and only stepped on his foot two times. Then, she got the hang of it, and here they were, dancing and losing themselves into it, completely... or well, for Penny. Lau’s mind was still occupied by one thing, or one person: Barnaby. Why was he thinking of him !? He can’t do that ! Not when dancing with Penny... ! And he can’t do it in general ! A man cannot date another man ! Well, they can, yes... but Lau can’t ! Diego might have asked him to be his date for the Ball, but no way Lau would have done that for Barnaby. While that Barnaby knew and accepted the fact that Lau also liked men, the redhead couldn’t bring himself to ask him out. He was too scared, too worried about what others might think of him... and what Barnaby might think of him.

He liked Penny, so he asked her out. She said yes. But he found himself longing for Barnaby, wishing he could be in his arms, and he felt like a piece of shit.

He suddenly realized that he liked Barnaby. He really, truly liked him... in a ‘I want to date you’ way. Penny might make him nervous and flustered, but... she couldn’t beat all the things Barnaby would make him feel.

As the dance kept going, he tried to remain focused. Penny deserved a good time, and he was going to give it to her. And so they danced. When the waltz was over, they grabbed a few snacks to eat. Lau still couldn’t find Barnaby. Where could he possibly be... ?

People of Lau’s year would claim that the Celestial Ball was amazing, and that they wanted to go back in time only to experience it again, but to Lau the entire event was a blur. Before he was aware of it, he was now sitting outside with Penny, near the Black Lake. It was already getting dark, and a few stars were starting to show up... a wonderful sight the Black Lake was, but Lau couldn’t find the energy to enjoy it.

Penny, however, was loving it, and was staring at the sky with huge doe-like eyes. She had a great time, and Lau had been the perfect date, but she could feel that something was off about him... but what, exactly ? She gently nudged him, and he was dragged away from his thoughts. He blinked, and turned to Penny.

“Everything alright ?” he asked.

The Hufflepuff had to hold back a giggle. Ah, so caring.

“I feel like I should ask that to you... you look distracted, Laulau”

Busted. She saw right through him, apparently. Lau’s heart stopped beating for a moment, and he could only stare at his friend. What could he possibly say !? Oh, sorry Penny, but turns out I wanted to be with Barnaby all along ? God, he’d sound like the world’s biggest asshole... if he isn’t already.

He stared at her. She stared back at him. If only he could express himself without words.

 

* * *

 

She... was awfully understanding.

Lau couldn’t bear the thought of lying to his friend. Not after all this. So he told her absolutely everything: how he was torn between her and Barnaby, how Diego asked him out for the Ball, how he realized he might like Barnaby a little bit more than planned... Penny couldn’t hide her disappointment at first, but Lau expected that. After all, she did like Lau... but he thought that she would start yelling at him before hating him for the rest of her life. Instead, she simply slid closer to him, hugging him and telling him that he shouldn’t be so afraid, and that he should simply seize the moment.

She told him to go get Barnaby, but he insisted to stay and stargaze with her. After all, she was still his date, and she deserved the best treatment... well, the best Lau could offer her.

For a few hours they remained outside, staring at the stars and chatting, and only when Lau was heading back to the Common Room did he realize how good it had felt. Just... talking, of everything that crosses your mind. He needed that, as well as Penny’s support. He felt stronger, somehow... the Celestial Ball was over, but some people were still in the hallways, although it was mostly couples making out and fondling each other. To think that it could have been him and Penny... but his feelings had to step in. For a short moment, he imagined himself making out in a hallway with Barnaby, and his cheeks turned into the brightest shade of red. Oh Merlin...

He finally stepped into the Common Room, and he found Barnaby Lee sitting on the couch. No one else was here, and Lau could notice that his friend’s eyes were sightly red... did he cry... ? Why would he... ? Lau stepped closer, and ended up sitting next to his friend, who didn’t react much. He was only staring at the fireplace.

“Barnaby... a-are you ok ? I barely saw you at the Ball... only once, in fact”

“Y-Yeah... I felt weird, so I got back here...”

His voice struck him. He sounded truly devastated, and his voice seemed croaky from crying too much.

“Do you feel better now ?” Lau asked softly, putting his hand on Barnaby’s back.

“Don’t do that” he suddenly said.

He was looking at him now, and Lau shivered. He couldn’t tell exactly what emotion was in Barnaby’s eyes.

“Do what... ?”

His hand was still on Barnaby’s back. The boy kept staring at Lau.

“I... your hand” he whispered, blushing.

“What about it... ?”

“I might just kiss you if you keep caring for me like that... I...”

He fell silent. And Lau didn’t know what to say. Kiss him !? He could barely believe it. He was dreaming, right ? What a wonderful dream, then... he probably fell asleep with Penny outside while they were stargazing. Yeah, that was totally it. The ambiance had been so relaxing, he could have really well just dozed off. Lau slid closer to Barnaby, as if in a trance.

“What... if I want you to kiss me ?”

Just a dream. He could do whatever he wanted... but he knew damn well, deep in his mind, that it wasn’t a dream. It was reality. Sweet, wonderful reality.

He closed his eyes as he felt Barnaby experimentally cup his face. His hands felt huge and warm, and Lau leaned into his touch, placing his hand on Barnaby’s thigh to give himself balance. He felt his friend (?) shiver, and one of his hands sank deep into his red locks. Lau let out a soft sigh, and for a second Barnaby didn’t move, which prompted the boy to half-open his eyes.

“What’s wrong... ?” he whispered.

Barnaby remained still, staring at Lau.

“You’re just... so beautiful”

And he leaned towards him, and finally kissed him. Lau’s heart felt as if it was about to explode in his chest, but thankfully it didn’t, and he quickly responded to Barnaby’s kiss, brushing his lips against his. It was clumsy at first, since both never kissed anyone before. After a few tries, however, they started to get the hang of it, and Lau wrapped his arms around Barnaby’s neck as the other man pushed him against the couch, hovering over him.

Lau couldn’t stop. He kept kissing him, his right leg hooked around Barnaby’s waist, kissing him tenderly and playing with his hair. Kisses are wet and have a funny feeling, but Lau found out that he liked it very much... or maybe he only liked it when it was from Barnaby. He started to feel something warm brushing over his lips. Barnaby’s tongue. Lau opened his mouth, and their tongues briefly touched each other before a strong voice echoed in Lau’s mind: NO. Suddenly, Lau violently pulled back, his head hitting the soft couch.

“I... I’m sorry, Barnaby. I can’t. I...”

He managed to slip out from under Barnaby, standing in the Common Room while his friend was still on the couch, now hovering over nothingness. He finally realized what just happened, and he turned to Lau. His cheeks were still red from all that kissing, and Lau’s too.

“W-What ?”

“We’re men, Barnaby. It won’t work. Think of what people might say about us... I... I like you too much for you to endure this”

“But I don’t care !” Barnaby exclaimed, suddenly standing up. “The only thing I care about is you !”

Lau shook his head, straightening his clothes and rearranging his hair.

“No... no, you shouldn’t. You... I... we can’t, Barnaby”

Barnaby can’t date a man. Barnaby can’t date a werewolf. He will end up in danger, and Lau refused that. He won’t let it happen, even if he needed to break Barnaby’s heart, and his own, in the process. He stared at Barnaby, silence being the only thing between them... and he headed out of the Common Room, not really knowing where he could possibly go.

“I’m sorry, Barnaby”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry :'3


End file.
